Women In Comedy: Double Standards and the Woman Who Defies Them

I love comedy, and as a member of a sketch comedy group, I spend a great deal of time writing, performing, watching, and discussing comedy. However, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: double standards for male versus female comedians.

At the start of each semester, the Cornell comedy groups host a two-day comedy festival, which kicks off with a night of standup comedy. After this semester’s standup comedy night, I remember talking with a friend about the fact that several of the comedians had adopted (what I like to call) an “I’m lonely” stand-up persona. We discussed the fact that when male comics make self-deprecating remarks, the jokes are received as significantly funnier than when female comics do so. For instance, when a guy confessed to being single and lonely, it was met with lots of laughter, but when a girl talked about the fact that she couldn’t seem to get a boyfriend, the laughter was quieter and clearly laced with pity. There appears to be something innately uncomfortable to us about a woman admitting her loneliness.

A second double standard I’ve noticed is that of the “fat comedian.” Similar to the “I’m lonely” humor, the “fat comedian’s” humor is often based in self-deprecation. In both cases, the overarching rule for women can be stated as: Please don’t show any signs of insecurity. It’s not funny; it’s just sad.

When male comedians joke about the fact they love to eat and hate the gym, people think it’s funny. But I have generally found it to be true that when a female comedian tells a fat-joke, it has to either be:

• Not true. In other words, she has a few curves, but calling her fat would certainly be a stretch. This way, the audience avoids the discomfort of listening to an actually heavy woman talk openly about her body. Phew! And if she really is as heavy as her jokes imply (God forbid), then her weight defines her, and fat jokes become her primary shtick.
• For instance, she will talk about having copious amounts of sex and fighting off hoards of suitors. The audience loves the irony of a situation in which a conventionally unattractive person is the object of sexual desire. Also, the audience assumes by default that heavy women are ashamed of their body, so a heavy female comedian must assure her audience that such is not the case before her audience feels that it can laugh at her jokes.

There is also a double standard on the level of raunchiness that people feel male and female comics should have in their sets. Some people may not enjoy raunchy humor to begin with and that’s fine. It’s okay to say you don’t like a comedian’s humor because it is too raunchy, but it’s not okay to say that you don’t like comedian’s humor because it’s too raunchy to come from a woman. For example, Variety’s television critic Brian Lowry wrote an article called “Sarah Silverman’s Bad Career Move: Being as Dirty as The Guys,” in which he argues that “she’s limited herself by appearing determined to prove she can be as dirty and distasteful as the boys.” Lowry does not have a problem with “dirty and distasteful” jokes, but when a woman is the one telling those dirty and distasteful jokes, they offend him. Unfortunately, Lowry is not alone in his opinion.

Nevertheless, I would argue that there are definitely female comics out there that have overcome these double standards. I am going to point to one female stand-up comedian in particular: Tig Notaro, who has found immense success in telling jokes about her emotional and physical tribulations and insecurities.

Stand-Up Comedian Tig Notaro

Tig Notaro is a 44-year-old writer and Grammy nominated stand-up comedian. I had the honor of seeing her perform at the Skidmore College National Comedy Festival over Fall Break. Notaro’s comedy is both highly relatable and remarkably nuanced. Although her look is androgynous, she does not shy away from declaring her womanhood. And she’s definitely not afraid of showing a little skin. In 2012, Tig was diagnosed with stage two, bi-literal invasive breast cancer. Two days later, she began to turn tragedy into comedy, opening her set with, “Good evening! Hello. I have cancer! How are you?” She opted not to undergo reconstructive surgery after a double mastectomy. And then in November 2014, she performed at the New York Comedy Festival completely topless.

Notaro jokes about loneliness, and defies the double standard that says lonely-women jokes aren’t funny. She talks about being single and her issues with dating. As you hear the recording above, she also explains that when she learned that she had cancer, her mother had just died in a freak accident, and her long-time girlfriend had just broken up with her. Talk about loneliness! “It’s tough times. You can’t stick around for that,” Notaro says in masterful deadpan. Despite the fact that she is woman acknowledging her own loneliness, it’s clear from the audience’s laughter that her jokes land.

The “fat comedian” double standard may appear to be non-applicable for a woman as slender as Tig is. Tig does, however, challenge this standard in that she comments on her body and unapologetically points out the parts that many might consider unsexy, unfeminine, or flawed. As The New York Times described her topless set, “she showed the audience her scars and then, through the force of her showmanship, made you forget that they were there. It was a powerful, even inspiring, statement about survival and recovery, and yet, it had the larky feel of a dare.” During her standup set at the Skidmore Comedy Festival, Notaro told us a hilarious story about the bewildered reaction that a female airport security agent had while giving her a pat down. Another example of Notaro’s hysterical self-deprecating jokes is in a blog post on her website. Notaro writes, “Whenever I tour thru middle America, inevitably 3 people a week tell me I look EXACTLY like award show host favorite Ellen Degeneres, to which I respond, ‘Oh, so basically you can tell that I don’t have a boyfriend.’”

Although I don’t consider Notaro’s comedy to be particularly raunchy, she is clearly comfortable discussing her sexuality. In addition to talking so candidly about her breasts, she is also openly gay. Furthermore, Notaro has often said that Sarah Silverman is one of her major influences. Notaro admires the way that Silverman goes head-to-head with her male peers on the subject of sex and the fact that Silverman always does so on her own terms. Notaro also used to be a writer for Amy Schumer’s “Inside Amy Schumer,” a hit show with notoriously dirty jokes.

Notaro is not the only female comic that defies the standards that we have come to expect. Aparna Nancherla, who I just saw perform at the Brown University Comedy Conference over Spring Break, and Maria Bamford are masters of self-deprecating comedy. I think that Nancherla’s self-deprecating jokes about both her loneliness/lack of a love life and her physical appearance landed with the audience as well as they would have if they had come from a man. Maria Bamford jokes about her depression, anxiety, and family issues, and she is open about the fact that she suffers from bipolar disorder. Yet Bamford has found great success, and she is one of my favorite comedians.

Aparna Nancherla

Maria Bamford